Tv time

While I'm awake, I may as well share a favorite show of mine with you all. It comes on AMC, "Mad Men", I love it. I'm watching it onDemand as I type.

The show takes us back to the 1960s and illustrates the competitive world of advertising. It also paints a picture of the lifestyle that was led back then in New York. The characters are intriguing, its drama every episode to the point where you don't have to know of the previous season.

I find it amusing to compare the differences between authority in men and women. Have we revolved! The women back then had no backbone and take the word "submissive" wayyyy overboard. That aside I like mad men section of the website www.amctv.com lol, you can make a 1960s version of yourself. Yes I'm geek, so what, don't judge me.   :-)

Check it out, it may intrigue you as well

I'm a tad bit lazy....

Up in the late a.m. unable to sleep again, what's on my mind?
My future.
I told myself that I Must get back in school before I turn 21. Though that is an entire year from now, I realize how lazy I am. There are so many things I want to do, but I know realistically speaking I can only do one at a time.

I was having a very enlightening conversation with a friend. And he basically asked: What the fuck is stopping you from pursuing something now?
And, all I could say is that I'm lazy. Which is a sad excuse. He told me I had a 2pm deadline to call them and get things started or else he would. Dam, I needed that motivational talk!

Something that does interest me are a few things in the IT field. I'm intrigued by both graphic design and web development. So I checked the local community colleges costs, schedules, and etc. and got very excited. I still have time to participate in Winter classes if I want or Spring. While I'm at it I want to perfect this writing skills of mine, which I can also take classes for. It is community college after all, you can even take course to learn to sew lol.

So today I plan to put a little bit of education first and bring in the new year going in a positive direction.....hey 2010, here I come!! Lol

My Handy Dandy Notebook

Here she is....from the previous post below...My Handy Dandy Notebook, like Steve from "Blue's Clues" has...lol

Surprise!

I love surprises, I really do.
Because I rarely get them.
He said he made reservations and the place he was taking me too, I would have to "dress like a lady" (that's what I call it, because I'm a sneaker and jeans type, EVERYDAY, LOL).
So I went and found a cute little dress, that turned out to be too little, didn't know my curves could do that...lol. So I wore a little black dress, plan B, lol.
Anyway, he picks me up and we're driving into the city. And I'm sitting there, trying to figure out where we're going. With no luck.

He reaches in the back of the car and hands me a gift. Says "you can open it now or later."
Its very rare that I get gifts so I started unwrapping it in my seat. And then I almost died inside.
A notebook, with my name engraved on the front page and....to top it off the following engraved in the back page "In loving memory of Earnest Harris Sr." Wow! That really did something to me, really swelled up my eyes. All I could say about 400 times was "awwwwwww, that's so sweet, thank you!!"  He knows my passion for writing, even reads Daydream Corner...:-)

Finally, I realize we're downtown around the corner from one of my favorite clubs.

Long story short, it was a restaurant named Aldo's, whose specialty is Italian. Olive Garden was my favorite, prior to this night. He said he picked the place so I could taste "real" Italian. The food and entire evening was great. He was the perfect gentleman as always.

It was the thought that made me smile and almost cry.
Because still I wonder what makes him give lil ol' me some time. He pays attention, actually "listens". That is so hard to come by. He makes me feel special in a way my child-like heart yearns for. And he knows how hard I try to act, but I'm just a big teddy bear on the inside. Somehow he brings that alive every single time.

Oooooow, what a surprise!

.....

Its hurts when you realize that the one you loved couldn't give all the simple things you asked. But to someone new, who puts in not even a percentage of your devotion, gets it all no questions asked. All I asked was to know pieces of his mind, to feel worthy of his time, to be number one as I place him. That was when I was his girlfriend. Isn't that what relationships are for. Yet, so easily a friend can receive everything I should've had, only to take my place?? Fair? No. Let it go, I shall someday very soon. But at the moment, I'm bitter. Why? Because this isn't the first time its happened to me. So why am I surprised? Because I never make assumptions....I hate the phrases "niggas ain't shit" and "bitches ain't shit". It sums up everyone we've never met before. I always let people to allow me to see them in a true light, never assume they're like the last. However, it always goes that way. All I can say is everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I made the last exit, my last. Now I'm just working on keeping his memory a part of my past. No need to let it linger, he's like a poison I'm tired of digesting.

My Time (Anything) pt.1

I can't sum you up into one simple word, so I'll just say your the best.
Best I never had, but wish I had, far sooner than now.
Your "the" definition of a true friend, I know you'll always hold me down.
You ask for nothing, except my presence.
In its purest form.
And that is so simple to give.
And to you I give, an offering of:
My time.
I want to take my time, and share it with you.
We don't have to do,
Anything.

I think I'm a rapper

So I'm still perfecting my musical talents. I feel good within the singing area.
But now I think I'm a rapper, lol so I make up little snippets. So I'll share these on the frequent. Call it my "I think I'm a rapper" edition.

♪♪:Let me know what I gotta do to get at you/I see y7ou, I see you boy/Sometimes you try to play me like a toy. And still I'm on it, still I want it/One day Ima flaunt it on my left arm/Call you the Prince Charm::♪♪-Mlyric,rapper

Sleep Deprived

Now that I got that last poem off my chest, I am going to try to rest my brain.....it is 530 in the morn....geez why am I awake???? Lol random post I know

The Lover Once Known

This piece is very special to me, I just wrote it on the G1, I love it. Had to get some things off of my chest. The things I say are both current and past emotions....something I can always read at a later date and relate to. Enjoy.... :-)

I still watch your from a distance cause as of late we grew too distant.
I'm missing every piece of sweet perfection we once had.
Back round the time when we used to grasps everything about each other.
Thoughts were like "we can't live without each other".
And when thoughts of you with another killed me.
They still do.
I wonder....
Why you haven't reached out to me yet?
Why do I always have to take the first step?
Seems like I've crawled within your arms so many times.
Just pleading and begging for you to help me obtain peace of mind, from myself.
You used to help me decipher those ramblings in my mind that made no sense.
Made all my personal insanity seem sane because "you and I" once made sense.
If that's all that I could have I was fine with that.
Yeah, but that was "Once upon a time, far long ago".
Maybe you and I, being happy is only a mere illusion and I should let it go.
What if I've been dreaming all this time?
And the memories embedded in my head of us aren't even mine.
What if I illustrated this all from a daydream of mine.
Got us confused with one of Walt's, Disney characters.
You played the Prince Charm character, of course.
And us together happily ever after, of course.
Not.
Cause those "Once upon a time" lands don't exist here.
I wonder if you even care that my heart is a prisoner within your padded walls.
I feel like a psych patient, who rocks back and forth in the room, just waiting for the doctors return.
Dam, boy haven't you learned how much I need you by now?
How I past time in the company of others in hopes we can one day be down? Again.
I mean we're friendly ex-lover friends now.
But who wants that.
This shit is whack.
I've seen the side of you that makes me want to take that Long hike to forever.
Can't you just bring him back?
.........................The lover once known.

But if, and if, I Wonder....tell me

But if, I... tell you all my deepest secrets, they won't be secrets anymore.
And if, I... let you kiss me where it hurts, it may not hurt anymore. That may be too perfect.
I've done this before.
But if, I... like you in return, my hard exterior gets compromised.
And I don't want to lie to keep you from my core.
But I've been promised great surprises before.
But if, I... keep being reluctant eventually you may no longer want me.
And I'll never know the love I've missed.
So, baby
I gotta quick Question:
If I read all of the above to you aloud would you pull me in for a kiss and give me a sweet glimpse of what its like to be yours?
Are you ready to feed me more.?
I wonder
Tell me

I think

I think
He's so perfect, but he's spending time with little ol' me.
I question if I'm worth it?
But a part of me feels I really deserve it...
Well we shall see what this all turns out to be.
Whatever it is I'm ready.
...I think.

Baby Girl

No matter where I go, I tend to be the youngest of the bunch. Which of course is something that is out of my hands, my birthday is Dec 8th 89'. Yes right around the corner, I'm a tad excited.

Weird fact about Crislyric: I hate odd numbers its like a slight case of OCD I have, lol. So I'm a little excited to be turning 20.

Back to the issue at hand, I hate hearing any quotes that sound like the ones below:
"Awwww, your still a baby"
"Awwww, I thought you were older, but your just a baby after all"
Or the
"You have a lot of growing up to do"-this one tends to get under my skin when used without knowing a dam thing about me.

NewsFlash: I no longer breastfeed or drink from a bottle. I am a young lady or young woman, please call me anything, but a baby.

Here's something interesting, I met a guy, a quite intriguing guy and we became sexually involved. During that timeframe, he stated and I quote "I'm kind of afraid to like, because your so young. I mean, I realize your very mature and bright, but your young." I couldn't really respect the statement because my thing is, if I'm too young as he says, then maybe he shouldn't be fucking me. What's the justification for that??

Something Sweet to Eat

I love sweets, just thought I'd share something yummy with you all. I just ate some of Edy's Apple Pie ice cream with whip cream on top....

Yum, it really just made me feel all good on the inside...:-) lol

Daydreaming....about Love Again

Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to make it to forever with the love of your life.....

Forever meaning they've lived as long as they could live, given all they can give with that special someone.
When I see elderly couples out and about holding hands making plans for brunch, I wonder.
What beautiful love story is behind their years of existence?
Where did they meet? Where did they find the strength to keep the love alive?
How does such a pure emotion continue to thrive?
Maybe I'll ask next time.

Brown eyes Lie pt.1

I don't think I could ever look you in your eyes again because I know there is so much dishonesty that lies within them.....
Guess I'll see ya next lifetime.

Your brown eyes used to speak beautiful love embellished words to me.
Used to speak of all the things you and I could be.
Now I'm wonder what of it all was sincere truths.
Because I've been introduced to how your brown eyes lie.

I'm over it......Finally

I'm at a lost for words at the moment.
Ran across something disturbing from a past love, yet still current. I can't explain it, his presence is dangerous. We've been back and forth so many times and I've played with so many ideas in my mind. Only to find that I was ready and willing to rekindle our once undeniable flame.

So I started changing things slowly, but shortly, getting back into the mind frame of being on my love journey to forever. And of course only imaging him accompanying me. We need to master the present before we can go any further and I was ready. Had started cutting ties with the random guys of my single life. Only to find another lie.

Lies and lack of communication are what convinced my heart to run away. Lies were what made it so hard to stay. Secrets, lies, and more secrets. I wonder why its so hard for him to be honest with me, if he claims to love me so dearly. I mean, maybe its just me, but I don't take love lightly. I told him everything, poured out chapters of my soul that I wasn't even prepared to face alone. Everything, the fears that torment me. The bad habits that often tempt me.

I'm just searching for understanding right now. Searching within myself to know how else I can approach love. Obviously what I've been doing isn't working. So I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to be so open anymore. I don't want to be so honest, its gets me no where. Ever.

So what I found was a link to his thoughts. They were typed in an organized way sort of like my Daydream Corner. And guess what? In existence for months. A link to his thoughts. The thoughts that I've been fighting oh so desperately to get out of him. The thoughts that I've been oh so genuinely interested in hearing. Yet and still, I've never been given full clearance to know him so well.

He met someone new and he listens to her. Listens to her tears, comforts her during a dramatic ordeal. All things of which I would kill to have from him. But then again, a part of me is coming to terms with this not so perfect world. And I don't wanna ever be his girl again.

But this is how it always ends, I stick around for the dead end. And a new one comes along and just fills in. I work for all the love and never receive, then the next chicks all I ever wanted.

For once there is no after thought attached to my words I'm over it.....finally. I decided I don't care anymore, this is me running away from the lies again.